North and South's cafe of Craziness
by ThatCrazyGirlReading
Summary: What happens when two weird girls own a cafe also they have this weird bunch of friends from different dimensions! Welcome Kingdom Hearts and Hetalia! Warning: AkuRoku, USUK, BOY x BOY, swearing, Craziness have you been tested yet?


Crazy- Here's the remake!

Chapter 1 Hello!

A girl with curly brown hair with blonde tips walks onto the stage. She is wearing a green t-shirt with the Hetalia logo and characters on it also she is wearing jeans and pink and black sneakers. She puts her blues glasses on and yells to the group of people.

"Hello! Welcome to the North and South's café of craziness! Now countries introduce yourselves when I call your name by order of how much I like you! Also hi my name is South you will get to know me over the time you are here!"

She gives a bow and walks off the stage when another girl with dirty blonde hairs walks onto the stage. She is wearing a blue shirt with the Hetalia logo on it with a pair of black jeans and blue flip flops. She is also wearing black glasses.

"Hi I'm north." She says

"SHE IS THE LESS AWESOME ONE!" South yells from the side lines

"Whatever south I am north I am co-owner of the café of craziness we just like having fun and yelling a lot" North says twirls and gives a smirk and skips off the stage.

South gets back on stage and calls names of countries.

"Iggy get out here you are number one!" she says pulling a taller blonde with huge eyebrow's onto the stage.

"My name is not Iggy its England, Britain, or Arthur never Iggy! Hello people my name is England or United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. I like earl grey tea and scones I do needle work and read a lot. Also I am a wonderful cook." England says.

"Stop lying Iggy!" America yells

"OK next is America also number one hey I can have two characters as my number one!" south yells.

"Why isn't my order of favorite characters getting to go?" North asks.

"My characters go first because I am more awesome than you!" South yells watching as America jumps onto the stage shaking it. "Damn America your heavy!" she curses.

"Hello citizens! I'm the hero! Also known as America or USA (United States of America)" America says before South throws a pillow at him.

"WE ARE BEHIND SCHEDULE! FORGET INTROS! YOU KNOW THEM ALL OK! LET'S START!" South says before pushing America off the stage and getting a fake phone for her and North and setting up props.

"Ok everyone this is our play of what the hell is going on today! Please enjoy!" North says and the lights dim and she sits on one side of the wall while south sits on the other. North sits on her chair while south lies on her bed when South's phone rings.

"South you picked up thank god have you seen Gilbert? He went missing!" North yells through the phone after south picks up.

"WHAT! Why did gilbert leave do you know where he might be?" south says getting off the bed and walking towards the bedroom door.

"He said he wanted to visit you the other day something about he knows Gilbird is over there with tony and he wants to bug Francis." North says pushing out a short blonde through her bedroom door.

"Roxas go bug someone else we are busy!" North yells at roxas and slams the door.

South puts Gilbird in a cage and hides him under her desk then reply's to north "Gilbird is here so is Tony. Well Tony is bored because Alfred is out with Arthur they went to the movies to watch a scary movie."

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In another part of the stage Alfred squeaks and jumps on Arthur's lap.

"I'll protect you Artie!" Alfred Yells and burrows his face in Arthurs shoulders.

"I feel so safe Alfred thank you, stupid Git." Arthur says sarcastically.

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South opens the door to her room and walks out into the living room and looks at the countries. "Also Alfred punched Francis in the nose it was funny Francis has a broken nose now though" She walks and high-fives Canada.

North looks confused "south why did Alfred punch Francis?" she says picking at her nails and surfing through the web.

"Oh well Francis Kissed Arthur he just pinned him to a wall and kissed him!" South says and opens the door.

"Hey gilbert welcome beer is in the fridge" South says pointing to the fridge and closing the door and walking back to her room.

"South Arthur is dating Francis shouldn't they kiss?" North questions and a red head walks into her room and sit on her bed flicking on and off a lighter.

"No North Arthur is dating Alfred remember we talked about this?" South says plopping on her bed and turning on the TV.

"Just because you say they are dating doesn't mean they are" North says and pushes the red head in her room starting a fire on her bed. She rushes to find the fire extinguisher in her house.

"North I will kill you we talked about this Arthur can date whomever he wants! I just want it to be Alfred not Francis." South replies in a dark tone.

"South we need to go over again why those two should never date because something is messed up in your mind!" North yells into the phone slapping the redhead in her room over the head.

"Ok north refresh my memory on why Alfred and Arthur cannot date, I'm waiting!" South says Turning on an episode of Hetalia and laughing at America.

"Ok first its incest they are brothers well they looked at each other as brothers at one point. Just because America became independent during the American Revolution Doesn't mean anything because Arthur took care of Alfred as a kid!" North shouts through the phone punching her wall and glaring at the two people who decided to walk into her room.

"It's not incest because they are not brothers technically Arthur just found him in a field. Yes Arthur took care of Alfred but as a caretaker not as a big brother he even specifically told him not to call him big brother. Also if this is of age different well all the countries are different ages but they look close in human age Alfred passes as a 19 year old while Arthur looks 21-23." South shouted back at the phone and then cuddled her teddy bear dubbed 'Sirius' (Yes Sirius black the guy from harry potter it's my favorite character –I'm south-)

North meanwhile was trying not to kill the 3 people in her room as they talked loudly about video games and couples. "Ok south the how is the different than Alfred and Matthew?"

South calms down and looks over at tony an alien that is playing games in her room. "It is different because Alfred thinks of Matthew like a brother and I don't think Matthew would like to date the guy he gets mistaken for and beat up about. Also it would be stupid to date the person you are scared of and can't stick up to right Matthew?" South asks Matthew who is making pancakes for Gilbert and Alfred who should be coming home soon.

"You're right south anyways I'm happy with Gilbert even if he is an ass sometimes." Matthew says ladling the pancake mix.

"Birdie, you're making pancakes awesome! Also South Do you know where Gilbird is?" Gilbert says running a hand through his hair.

"I'll get him be right back Gilbert how about you talk to south she's screaming at someone through the phone." South says handing the phone to gilbert then skipping to her room to retrieve Gilbird from the closet.

"Hey how are you north?" Gilbert says into the phone only to move it quickly from his ear a second later.

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"AXEL YOU ASSHOLE YOU BURNED MY BED THEN YOU TELL ME YOU ALSO BURNED MY HOMEWORK AND ALSO ROXAS HAD TO DO WITH IT TOO!" north yelled at the tall red head in the room.

"Well I didn't tell you that Demyx managed to get all you clothes wet in your closet along with your collection of peeps." Axel said pointing to a tall blonde in the room who was known as Demyx.

"I never had a collection of peeps!" north yelled at the redhead again promptly hitting again over the head with a book.

Then with a yell through the phone they heard gilbert "YOU GUYS DESTROYED MY PEEPS!" everyone in the room ignored the phone and continued fighting.

"I didn't do anything though!" the short blonde known as roxas yells.

"Oh Roxy putting all the blame on me we all know you used figra on her homework and also ended up burning one of her t-shirts." Axel yells at roxas.

"All three of you leave the room you guys are pissing me off" North yelled pushing them out the door kicking axel in the shine on his way out.

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"Here you go Gilbert one real Gilbird!" South says handing Gilbird to Gilbert and taking her phone back.

"Thank you South um do you know where Matthew is?" Gilbert says looking around for said blonde.

"Um I think that's him being crushed by the fat ass known as Cuba" south pointed over to Matthew who was in fact being crushed under all of Cuba's weight.

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Crazy-That's only half of the original but I almost wrote the full length of the original first chapter I only have about 500 more words so I'm going to send this off tell me if you like the changes! Or you just hate it I don't care I love reviews! Criticize me I need all the help thank you fellow people of fan fiction. Net! Well review for love! Also I probably will post the second half either within the next 3 days or in 3 weeks because I am moving so bye!

Arthur- She is also working on another story called the Gentleman's Hardships in my P.O.V and another story called Blind love which is an AkuRoku story.

Crazy- Also I was listening to skater boy and I came up with another UsUk fic that one will probably have the first chapter up around December along with The Gentleman's Hardships. Look out for them!


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